You know you’re old (perhaps?) when you reach that threshold.
The threshold of not giving a shit. That was me, this morning. I couldn’t see on my hotel booking that breakfast was included, but given the place kind of smelled like grilled cheese and I’d seen a sign saying ‘restaurant’ I used my incredible intuition and deduced.. there was breakfast somewhere. Us fattys, we can sense it. So downstairs we ventured.. still in our PJs! Cue ‘not giving a shit’. I genuinely didn’t think anyone would be there so early (it was 8 am), but alas – many others were dining. BUT highlight – the waitress said to me ‘parlez vous Francais’? HA No i am not French but thank you, you goddess. Is it my loungewear? (My PJs happen to be awesome – ‘eat, sleep, mum, repeat shirt with striped cotton boxers). Either way we dined in our PJs. WHO CARES.
We called home to catch a few lovely faces at Happy Hour, which Hardy in particular is missing very much. Hi everyone!
Then we grabbed a taxi to take us to a baby store. STOP – no, there is no baby coming, at least not from me with my dusty-bowl of a uterus. We needed a new pram which as you regular readers will know (both of you), we lost ours en-route to Barcelona the first time.
Taxi drivers everywhere seem to be the same, incredibly (some EXCELLENT exceptions though aka Erin’s wonderful father). But this guy had the same ‘accelerate drastically and brake suddenly’ approach – you know? It even smelt the same. I guess taxi car scents are the same everywhere. But sometimes the smell and the motion just conjures up previous memories of drunken rides home back in the day, so I was happy to get out when he pulled up outside the aptly named Palacio Del Babe! It was THE MOST beautiful baby store I’ve ever seen. Spread over two levels they had all sorts of goods. They managed to find the one lady who spoke English and she took us downstairs to look at the strollers. We were fortunate to find a really good one on sale (only a mere 215 Euro!!!!! Double that to get the Aus value, give or take), so we strolled out of there in slow motion like a terrible movie.
We got wheels baby!
Fortunately just around the corner was a stop and ticket seller for the ‘hop on hop off’ bus which you know we love. We jumped only to learn the green route alone takes 2.5 hours to complete! Yikes! So we went through a few stops (nothing I could take a decent photo of sorry) before getting off close to our hotel to change into our togs and head to the beach. I bought a two-day pass so that if our guide doesn’t cover some key ground tomorrow, we can always jump back on for another ride.
It was such a funny little beach. The waves were kind of small but sometimes seemed bigger but crashed suddenly into nothing. It took Hardy a few minutes to figure it out as I held him. But his ocean swimming has come along so well – from not wanting to venture at all into any beach that wasn’t flat – to remembering how to jump over waves. Today we learnt other lessons like don’t turn your back on the surf and how you can also dive under waves. Mind you he can always touch with his feet, but the weirdness of this particular beach meant he was still jumping over waves!
Like I had experienced in Italy, at some random times there were a few rogue waves – out of nowhere. Fortunately we were on the sand when this happened, but one little girl with floaties on her arms was swept up the sand and one floatie popped off. She wasn’t swept under so to speak but still, she got nailed. Her dad hurried over from the water but she didn’t even cry, what a trooper.
After a few hours we headed back, stopping in for ice cream which we can’t seem to go a day without!
About one-third of the way back to our hotel I got the sudden urge to go to the toilet. And as ye fellow mums will know, it’s never clear how much time you really have. A ticking timebomb. You know those thoughts in your head like.. ok.. how can an adult seriously get away with weeing in public? Hardy got to pee into a bottle with my help but I don’t really see that happening for me. If I stop into a bar or something we have to order, which costs money! DILEMMAS ALL AROUND.
I walked as fast as I could whilst simultaneously squeezing all the right muscles. I tried not to think about. It was the longest walk of my life. Fumbling to get the hotel card out to swipe us in, waiting for an elevator, doing the wee dance, come on come on, in the elevator, Hardy asking some sort of question like ‘what are the different dinosaur sounds?” I DON’T KNOW I DON’T KNOW I’M JUST TRYING NOT TO PISS MY PANTS.
I didn’t say that, obviously. But strolled very briskly down the corridor, swiped open our door and pushed him in with one almighty push. I let the door close itself as I hurried into the toilet.
“Mum, what different sounds do they make???”
If you’re not subconsciously flexing your pelvic floor right now, well I’m surprised.