Sooo the flight from Cairns to Hong Kong was possibly the worst of my life. Wasn’t even the longest but it felt like forever.
We were conveniently seated near another young boy who was with his nanny (his parents were in business, naturally). So they played happily and I figured hey she’s getting paid for it 🤷🏻♀️
The food was probably the best aeroplane food I’ve ever had. I had fish because like Austin Powers I like to live dangerously. The aircraft was a bit dated and things were broken or difficult to use but we managed.
Then came the typhoon of some description!
Our landing was delayed and it felt like the descent took an hour. And it was bumpy and loud and I could hear the rain pelting down. It was pitch black so I had no concept of where the ground was or when we would hit it. I was actually trembling in my chair trying desperately to muffle any crying so Hardy wouldn’t wake up (bless him he slept through the whole thing). At one point I thought ‘there is no way I’m fucking dying in HONG KONG.’ I don’t know why I thought that like there are plenty of worse places to die right?? I figured my brain actually meant ‘die like this / right now.’
We FINALLY landed, very smoothly and safely, so kudos to the pilot. But the damage to my innards was done. I was a wreck.
Proceeded to get off the plane after convincing Hardy to wake up. Like zombies, we wandered around and when I found a toilet I pounced. Poor kid, I’ll never forget the worry on his face as he covered his ears as I vomited. 😫 [Side note I refuse to accept the fish was a bad choice]
IT’S OK DARLING I WILL BE OK!!!!!!
We proceed through security. No problems here folks!!!!
OH LOOK ANOTHER TOILET HARDY LET’S SEE WHATS INSIDE.
‘Do you need to wee?’
This time he sat near the basin which made me panic more whilst inside the cubicle. DON’T YOU MOVE FOR ANYBODY.
I wanted desperately to just go home and scrap the whole thing, but that would require getting back on the plane for the same route in reverse. Cue several ‘this trip was a terrible idea” mutterings to myself, but I’m far too stubborn to throw in the towel. Plus I’ve come this far I must press on!
I profusely thank past Katie for packing anti vom tablets in my carry on. PRAISE BE TO HER. I had one and prayed for a miracle.
We wandered from lounge to lounge, like Joseph with his pregnant Mary, desperate to find an inn that would take us. “By invitation only”. Haaaaaaa FUCK YOU. Mum don’t worry I didn’t say that I just winced politely and staggered on.
One thousand Hong Kong dollars later (no clue what that is in Australian dollars but can’t be good, right?) And we have wifi, Hardy has a hot chocolate, and most of my body has stopped trembling.
And you know what the lady says at check in?
“Sorry but our toilets are under maintenance.”
FML. Someone invent teleportation already.
For the record, Hardy has been perfection the entire time, could not fault him. Even rubbing my back in the toilet. I could cry with gratitude!
UPDATE: plane delayed 2.5 hours. We’ve been awake for almost 24 now. Yeaaa boiii.